Many years ago, my boyfriend whom I loved very much, grabbed his bags and moved out of the country with very little forewarning. I was desolate and cried for weeks. His departure seemed like such a terrible thing. Twenty plus years later, he is now one of my most cherished and trusted friends.

Goes to show that I don’t know what my life will look like when the dust settles. My self-talk can help me be open to how things change even when they are painful. It can help me stop fighting what happens to me, and accept it. My inner speech can allow my life to unfold as it will. It can help me trust in the transformation that always takes place. It can help me stay calm and solid in my own center.

At the time, I didn’t know much about the power of my own self-talk. I wrote him long love letters after he left. Now I would write these letters to myself in a show of self-love and self-support, and to help guide myself to the next stage of my life.

Even when something hurts a lot, it doesn’t mean that is isn’t good for you, or that there won’t be a silver lining. My friendship with my ex is a gift. Maybe his departure wasn’t such a terrible thing after all.

As Socrates said, the secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

My self-talk:
• Wait to see what will happen.
• Take a deep breath.
• Trust in your own life and its wisdom.
• Do your best. The rest isn’t up to you.
• You are ok.
• You don’t know what this will look like in the future. Wait and see.