I used to only have two ways of being: full speed ahead or full-stop. There wasn’t much of a middle road. Now I am very interested in the middle way and I use my self-talk to guide myself there.

My whole life I would slow down only if I got sick, or completely emotionally disturbed like after a painful breakup. I would stop my frenetic pace. I would give myself permission to rest, to care for myself, to heal, even to cancel on commitments – some of which I didn’t want to do in the first place. I let myself off the hook. I also provided myself with healthy foods and lots of rest.

Then I’d get better and start my frenetic pace once more, my race to achieve and make things happen. I ate on the run. I didn’t let myself sleep enough. I underwent way too much stimulation. I overworked. I let myself be drained by people or situations that didn’t feel right for me.

I realize too that I’ve done this since I was really little. When I would need extra care or gentleness, I got sick.

Now I am very interested in the middle road. Being in the center is a new practice for me. It’s so new that it is often hard for me to recognize where the center even is.

I want to spend more time being mindful about my decisions and what I really want in my life, instead of running towards a direction. I have just so much energy, resources and time. I want to use them wisely in service of my right life. I want to pay way much more attention to myself and what I need.

My self-talk:

Be mindful. Pay attention. You only have a certain amount of time, energy and resources. Where do you want to spend them?
I give myself full permission to care for myself everyday.
I have time to sit with my decisions, to feel what feels right for me.
What is it that you really want to feel in your life as opposed to achieve?
What is the middle road for me? What does it look like?