When we are forced to say goodbye to someone we love — when they leave our lives, whether because of distance, death, or life circumstances — knowing we won’t see them again is deep sorrow. Your self-talk can help you mourn them, and choose love as the legacy of your relationship.

I know how painful it can be. I’ve had to part with many people in my life including my cherished father, the closest of friends, and former lovers. Sometimes the parting has come gently, other times without much warning, and with devastating force.

We miss not being able to share our days with these loved ones, see their smiles, hear their voices and their laughters, or hug them. And this loss must be mourned, but at the same time there can be awareness of just how fortunate we have been to know them, and love them.

However that person is gone, you can choose how you want to say to yourself about them, what meaning you want to give the relationship. You are completely free to give meaning. No one decides that but you.

Marianne Williamson writes that we have the power to love so totally that we are no longer in pain, that this love sets us free.

I can choose to focus on the loss or on the love. I can bring my attention to the gift I received having them in my life here on earth, whether it was years or a few short months. This way only love stays in me, and between me and the person, without old stories or entanglements.

Each time I think of that person, I can bless them with my thoughts to elevate them and myself, and not drag us both down with negative self-talk.

As Dr Seuss said so well: “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

My self-talk:

I am whole.
I love you.
I am free to give meaning to my life.
I choose what our relationship means to me, and what legacy it will have in my life.
I set you free.
How fortunate I have been to have you in my life.
Thank you for your love.

Thanks for reading.

With love,

Maryse