It all went sideways this morning. For some reason, I thought I had time to bake muffins for my daughter’s lunch. What possessed me I do not know for on most mornings we barely have time to get the essentials done. At the very last moment I’m waiting for the muffins to be ready and of course they’re not. The soup I was going to put in her thermos was way too spicy so had to be ditched. I spilled a big bottle of smoothie all over my clothes and the floor. I’m shouting for my husband to get the dog – that canine vacuum – out of the kitchen before he licks it up. The counters are covered in flour, bowls and food. Finally, I start shoving all kinds of last-minute items into the lunch box as my daughter keeps saying, I have to go, I have to go.
The stakes were low on this, yet I was feeling frazzled by the chaos and by the rush. I got a little worked up and so did my inner critic. When I get stressed and anxious, negative self talk starts. This is absolutely normal. Stress and my inner critic are old buddies. When one shows up, the other one isn’t far behind.
If I don’t do something about it, they tend to work each other up. The talk gets more negative, and that makes me feel more stress. I feel more stress and the inner words get more critical. I’m stuck in a loop.
This has happened to me in all kinds of situations from meetings where I thought I said the so-called wrong thing, to having to deal with emergencies.
I realized I needed a self talk reset. I needed to reset my energy and my self talk. I needed to stop this frazzled feeling and step back into a calm power. If not, it would have a snowball effect that would build momentum all day. I needed to take a pause to allow myself this self talk reset. It doesn’t take very long.
I took a few deep breaths right into my heart center. I made my mind quieter. I made my heart more open. I told myself about what I was feeling.
Then I re-positioned the morning’s story. I gave it another angle. Instead of being upset by the mess I made of it, I told myself funny things about it. (It must have been quite the sight!) I also told myself about what I’m grateful for. Levity and gratitude are two of the best ways I know to reset. I recentered myself and brought my energy back to me. I had a self talk reset.
A self-talk reset can be helpful for life’s stressful little moments like this morning. It can also be a game changer when there’s a bigger concern going on. It’s made a difference to me in much more stressful situations like the emergency ward at the hospital.
Here are the steps to a self talk reset:
Step 1. Take some time and space for the reset.
Step 2: Stop the momentum of stressful negative self talk with deep breaths, quieting the mind, and opening the heart.
Step 3 Tell yourself about your feelings regarding the situation. It will help you have clarity and work through them.
Step 4: Give the story a new angle, and change your inner words about it. Can you find something comical or something that makes you grateful about it? Tell yourself all about it.
Step 5: Repeat as needed. Keep showing up and being your own leader, stepping towards more inner words of love and calm.
My self-talk:
I can use my inner words to have more inner calm and love
I can do a self talk reset at anytime
My inner words are safe and loving
If you'd like to go deeper into a self talk reset, here's Self Talk Love's free five day course:
https://selftalklove.lpages.co/self-talk-love-web-cover-page-free-5-day-course/
With love,
Maryse