On the island of Hawaii, there is a place called the City of Refuge or Pu'uhonua. In ancient times, when you broke certain laws, you faced the death penalty. If you managed to elude your pursuers, and reach this place of refuge, you were safe.

That’s what I am trying to create inside myself with my self-talk: a place of refuge. This space is calm, and I am given compassion and protection from the outside world.

I can be the overseer of this sacred place inside myself. I can create this space where I can retreat to no matter what is happening on the outside, no matter what I’ve done, or no matter what has been done to me. It’s mine to create and to hold.

There is no such thing as neutrality when it comes to your self-talk. Your inner words are either a blessing or a detriment to you. You get to choose what they will be. You can practice a kind and compassionate self-talk until it becomes your way to be.