What you say to yourself internally today will plant the seeds for how you are, and how you live tomorrow.

When I first began this journey of loving self-talk 15 years ago, it was so new to consider that what I said to myself could have an impact on me, and my life.

Just like how water shapes rock over time, we are shaped with what we hear every day, and how that makes us feel. Our brain is shaped by what it hears. Our cells are shaped by what they hear.

Every time that we say a kind word to ourselves, every time that we turn towards ourselves with warmth, compassion and love, it counts. It accumulates and then it gets easier to do.The inner loving words are small and the stuff of everyday life, but they are powerful over time.

I tell my daughter that a lot of life happens step by step, with every decision, with every practice, with every kind inner word. It’s the stuff of everyday life.

Sometimes, we need help finding a path that’s meaningful and loving, but once we are on it, it’s up to us to put one foot in front of the other. Many teachers have pointed me in the right direction and given me tools, but I am the one who decides every day how I want to treat myself.

I speak to myself really differently now for the most part. I still fall back on my default mode of negative, critical self talk sometimes, especially when I’m over tired, anxious, or if I’m having a conflict with someone. I may then attack myself inside with cruel, or dismissing words that make me feel small.

But it doesn’t last too long now. I hear it. I catch it. And then I speak tender words to myself because of what I just went through: I was hurt by my own inner words. Then once again, I choose inner words of love and compassion. Step by step like water on stone.

My self-talk:

You are important to me.
You deserve that I take good care of you.
You are doing your very best.
I love you just the way you are.