Sometimes it’s easy to turn my self talk around. I can calm down a voice of blame or criticism with a gentle reminder “now, now enough now, settle down.” But at other times, well… let’s just say that it’s as hard as getting a wild dog on a rampage to obey a gentle command.
Sometimes my mind is like a huge dog out of control, grabbing the steaks off the counter, threatening the neighbors with her growls, or running down the block after the mail carrier. For some moments, or let’s face it for some hours on tough days, I forget who the master is, and the dog runs rampant howling while I am frozen, listening to it, at its mercy.
And then I remember I have a choice in all this. I’m the one who’s listening to this howling dog, and frankly, I don’t have to. I am the master and it’s important for both of us that I step up and act like one. Every dog needs a consistent, boundary-setting, calm, confident, loving, kind master, as Cesar Millan might say. We need to be that kind of master with ourselves, with our inner voices.
As I can choose to learn dog training skills, I can choose to learn positive and loving self-talk skills.
One skill that I use when my inner critic needs a good calming down is to move. Movement unblocks an energy within us and permits a softer kinder inner voice to emerge. This kind voice is always within, but who can hear it under the thunder of an inner critic gone wild. Movement calms the nervous system as well, which in turn calms negative self-talk.
Runners say that a good run clears their mind. That’s what I’m talking about here. For me, a good swim, dancing alone or in a group, a walk in the woods or on the beach, or a good stretch, enable me to let energy go and flow. I can then start speaking to myself kindly and with patience once again. You will also find me punching pillows or screaming underwater as I swim when I really need to get some energy out.
Just like that big old scruffy mutt needs a good romp to let out nervous energy, I also need to move. Then with more calm, I can hear that loving voice inside who thinks I am awesome just the way I am.
My self-talk:
I am the master of my self-talk.
I am kind to myself.
Movement helps me speak kindly to myself.
I love you.
What you say inside matters love
With love,
Maryse