“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” –Dalai Lama
I was on a group call on zoom recently when a woman mentioned that she was taking this time to eat a crazy healthy diet and had already lost 4 pounds – on her butt. Then she said she had a big backside, and had really needed to loose that weight.
I’m all for nutritious eating. Anything that we can do to stay healthy, strong and robust during this time is vitally important. But can we give our rusty dusty – our whole bodies for that matter – a break for now? Or maybe forever?
No one needs more stress right now. What we all need is to be treated with kid gloves. Unkindness and criticism are very stressful on our bodies, our minds and our spirits.
It matters what you say to yourself. Part of you is listening to everything you say, and reacts in the same way it would if someone else said those cruel words. In addition, every cell in your body “hears” what you say. It gets a message that either elevates it or brings it down. When your cells hear kind, happy messages, they rejoice and can work optimally.
Many research projects have shown that kindness is an incredible boost to the immune system. Dr David Hamilton, a researcher and author of many books on the health benefits of kindness, writes: “In a number of different ways, kindness produces opposite effects from those that stress causes.”
Right at this moment, we are all in need of extreme kindness. We need someone to show us compassion, patience, support, and to be there for us. That someone is you. Your own self-kindness can be a game changer.
Think of someone who is very kind to you. How does that person speak to you? Now you’ve got a model.
I think of my friend Leslie.
The other day, again on zoom, I told Leslie about a lie I told. I was quite ashamed about it. I’ve been striving to be authentic and live with integrity, and I came up short. “Oh hon…” she said. She looked at me with so such kindness, and told me that I was just human. This brought me such comfort. She didn’t judge me. It seems like my friend doesn’t expect me to be perfect. She loves me just as I am – strengths and flaws and all. What a gift!
I want to treat myself, to speak to myself, the way Leslie speaks to me.
We can be that way with ourselves: show extreme kindness. What kind words can you say to yourself? Your body will love it, your spirit will love it, your mind will love it too.
As Mother Teresa famously said: “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
My self-talk:
I love you the way you are.
You don’t have to be perfect for me to love you.
How are you? What do you need right now?
I see you.
I am right here.
I forgive you.
I am giving myself the benefit of the doubt.
You don’t need any additional stress right now.
I’m going to treat you with kid gloves.
Thanks for reading.
With love,
Maryse