Self Talk for Highly Sensitive People

A highly sensitive person (HSP) needs special extra care during this time when things are so uncertain and so many people are scared.

I was in my early 40s before I realized that I’m a highly sensitive person. I always had a sense that I was different, but I didn’t know that it was because my brain was wired differently. According to psychologist Dr Elaine Aron, about 15 to 20 percent of the population is highly sensitive. It’s a trait we’re born with, and it is a gift to be embraced.  

If HSP is a new concept for you, or if you want a recap, here’s some info from Psychology Today:

“Highly sensitive people have brains that are structured a little differently from other people. They are wired to absorb more information from the world around them, such as colours, sounds, scents, tastes and other people’s feelings. This is what Elaine Aron calls ‘depth of processing’, which is the tendency to process information more deeply. A study by Jadzia Jagiellowicz found that highly sensitive people use more of the parts of the brain associated with deep processing, especially those that involve noticing subtleties. We absorb information and then we think about it, sorting it, categorising it and comparing it to other things. Sometimes we are aware of this process, but it also happens subconsciously, beneath our awareness, which is why we can feel surprised when we are overwhelmed by all this information we’re absorbing.”

Many of my favourite people in this whole world are HSPs. I love my non-HSP friends too, but it is with my HSPs that I share the most in common. We are creative, compassionate, we seek deep connection, and we look for meaning in our lives. We can feel what others feel, and we are extremely touched by beauty and love. In a nutshell, we are awesome and have all these special gifts.

I wouldn’t trade being an HSP in if I could. It’s one of my superpowers. It makes me who I am.

But it’s not all sunshine and butterflies. HSPs also need special care that others may not. We get easily overwhelmed because of all this processing we do, and need more quiet down time. According to Dr Aron, we’re not inherently anxious because we are HSPs, but we can more easily develop it when we’ve had tough childhoods, or difficult life circumstances, or when there’s a lot of bad news out there, and people are fearful like right now.

We soak up fear and anxiety like a sponge if we are not careful.  We are way more affected by the news. Want to see overwhelm in action? Give an HSP a bad news story, and one cup of coffee too much.

I like to think of my highly sensitive nature like being a tree. I’m an awesome tree, but I’m not the kind that’s going thrive in parched dirt on the side of a road. I’m more like a poplar or willow – trees that are high care. I’m choosing to say high care as opposed to high maintenance because that gives an image of a diva on a shopping spree. And that’s so far from what an HSP is or needs. Want to see overwhelm in action? Bring an HSP to a mall.

So all my lovely HSPs out there, take the time and space to rest, to disconnect from the news, and reconnect to yourself and to LOVE. And if you are out there working as an essential workers or healer, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your LOVE and service. 

My self-talk:

  • When I honour my sensitivity, I flourish.

  • I give myself permission to get the care I need.

  • I take time to mellow out.

  • It’s ok for me to disconnect from the news and focus on me.

  • I may be feeling fear and anxiety that’s not even mine. I am just absorbing them like a sponge. I can release this energy and get back to my real nature, to my own real feelings.