A sudden change in the amount of energy in your body is a good indication of how positive or negative your self-talk is.
When you say positive, loving or joyous things to yourself like “This apple is delicious. I really appreciate it” or “I’m taking really good care of myself and my family” – you get pumped with energy. It makes you strong.
The opposite is true. When I start to feel a drain of energy, when I start to collapse around myself, or suddenly feel foggy, or tired, there’s a good chance that my self-talk has turned critical and negative. Self talk like “I just can’t do it. This is too hard for me” or “There’s something wrong with me” causes me to deplete.
The other day I thought about a cousin and how I haven’t heard from her throughout this situation. I reached out a few times, but she didn’t get back to me. First thing I know, I’m starting to feel deflated. I pause and bring my focus to what I’m saying to myself, and it sounds something like this:
This person doesn’t really care about me. She hasn’t checked how I’m doing. (this voice is hurt and sad)
I’ve done so much for her, made so many efforts, and she doesn’t give back. (this voice is obviously long-suffering, critical, and has a chip on her shoulder)
Once I catch myself, I can now choose to turn this self-talk around. The truth is that I don’t know why my cousin hasn’t contacted me. And in a way, that’s none of my business. This is the self-talk I choose:
I’m glad I reached out to her. She knows that I care.
This period is hard for many of us. I send her love and wishes for her well-being.
It’s ok. I have to trust that I’m not meant to be in contact with her right now.
As you see, my negative self-talk was triggered by something on the outside, in this case, my cousin not contacting me. Despite that, I still get to choose my inner words. That becomes possible when I am conscious of a sudden change in my energy levels.
I’m sure you’ve experienced that when meeting certain people. You’re feeling quite good when you bump into someone you know, and after, you realize you don’t feel so good anymore. Some people, situations, activities, and places, are draining to us.
We have that same effect on ourselves. Some stories that I tell myself energize me, while others drain me.
Yesterday, I was alone in the living room, and I noticed that I was feeling pretty good. Why not tell myself all about it? Why not milk this moment? It will boost my energy levels, and my feel-good hormones. This is what I started telling myself about this moment:
The light coming through the window is really beautiful at this hour.
I can see flowers on the tree outside.
I’m enjoying how tidy the living room is.
I have a few quiet minutes to myself (Hooray!) This is terrific.
We’re all healthy and safe. This is terrific too.
There is nothing that I need to do except enjoy this moment.
This music is really good.
Let me tell you also about a little story of serendipity that happened to me the other evening. I’ve been repeating it to myself, reminding myself of my good fortune, and how cared for I am.
How I’d like some bamboo poles, I thought as I examined my veggie boxes. The peas were growing quickly and they needed support. Maybe somewhere down the line I could get my hands on bamboo poles but for now, during this situation, I’m avoiding stores. I just don’t like the energy in them. They feel draining. I would use whatever I could find for now.
I started looking through the garden for some sticks. I found a few of odd sizes, not great, but they could do I guess. Then I went looking near the hedge. I peered underneath, and that’s when I found a plastic package. It contained – get this – 5 super long bamboo poles! What they were doing there, how they got there, and how long they had been there – all that remains a mystery. All I know is that at the moment that I wished for them, they came into my awareness.
Telling myself this story really boosts my energy. Do you have a story too that makes you feel good? Tell yourself all about it in detail. Milk it for all it has got!