When my self talk is filled with criticism, recriminations, regrets and put downs that go on and on, I turn to these tried-and-true techniques to get a break from the inner critic.
1.Switch it off
If you are playing a negative story in your head, switch it off just like you would turn off a song that you don’t like. Simply imagine pressing the off button. If the song starts again, press the off button again. Switch it off as many times as you need to. Remember that you are in charge here. You get to decide what words you tell yourself.
It’s your job to protect yourself from any voice inside that mistreats you. No one else is inside you and can do this for you. You must play the role of superhero protector for yourself. By pressing the off button, you are standing up for yourself and saying, “Stop it. Enough already. Give me a break with your negative talk.”
2. Specifically focus on something positive
When you catch yourself in a downward spiral of negative self talk, bring your focus to something or someone that is incredibly positive for you. For example, if I’m stuck in a loop of thinking about a conflict, I will bring my attention to someone whom I love and get along with really well. I’ll tell myself about my grand-mother or my meditation teacher, or a favourite holiday destination, or the yellow and purple tulips in my garden that make me smile.
3. Tone down the catastrophizing
Catastrophizing is when you tell yourself that the worst will happen or make a way bigger deal out of a situation than it is. My friend once gave herself back spasms imagining worse case scenarios about her new job.
You can tone down the inner conversation by sticking with the details of a situation or using words that are not so charged. For example, instead of telling yourself that “it’s a disaster” when there’s a leak in the ceiling, tell yourself “there’s a leak in the ceiling and it will be fixed as soon as possible.” Instead of saying “my life sucks", tone it down to “I had a difficult day at work. I’m going to rest now and recharge.”
4. Gratitude
Focus on what you do have, and the good in your life. You get to decide if you want to tell yourself about the abundance in your life, or the lack of what you don’t have. I know a spiritual teacher who has worked with several billionaires who feel like they still don’t have enough money. Believing that you live in abundance is more a state of being than an actual fact. Tons of studies show that a gratitude practice makes you feel better about yourself and about your life. Tell yourself a few things you are thankful for every day, or write them down. Who knows how it will change your life to immerse yourself in the good.
Thanks for reading!
With love,
Maryse
Another way that I turn negative self talk around is by remembering that I am more important than my problems. Here's a free worksheet if you'd like to remember that too:
https://selftalklove.lpages.co/self-talk-love-i-am-more-important-than-my-problems-worksheet/